Dec 7, 2011
Now Wait For Last Year
Who Is Jake Ellis
The comic Who Is Jake Ellis written by Nathan Edmondson and drawn by Tonci Zonic is highly recommended. My problems with the projects that people put out in comics comes down to the same thing with Hollywood movies, they are all gimmicks with little substance besides combining two different things(zombies and Pride And Prejudice for example). Who Is Jake Ellis is actually original. A story you can't just turn on your tv to see or buy a random book to read. It's about a guy who is on the run from secret agencies out to kill him. He has one advantage, an omnipresent voice in his head that is actually watching out for him and might have been put there by the same people chasing him. It's a fun read and the art is fantastic. Tonci Zonjic's art is reminiscent of Alex Toth while still being completely his(I mention Toth because those who know comic art know Toth is one of the all time masters of simplicity in design). Zonjic may be a master. He is new enough to me that I can't quite bring myself to say it, but I can't think of anyone besides Mike Mignola(Hellboy) who can fill a page with nothing but the most essential elements, breaking everything down to lines, or blocks of black or white. Every panel, simple, elegant, and with the perfect amount of information(basically the opposite of how I draw things, which means it looks great).
When I made my independent movie, The Dead Next Door(and no it's not about zombies), I made up a character named Jesse Dozens. The actor really liked the character and begged me to write more stuff for him(he got stabbed in the movie, but didn't necessarily die). I think I may have even written a short with Dozens and a character named Shithouse, where I played a guy named Navarone(as in "Guns Of -").
I've been losing weight and working out to do some acting when I move to southern LA. Either for my movie childSTAR(as Brookes Laughton) or in parts I'm interested in. I have the added luxury of being a director and writer so I can make my own projects instead of beg to be in others(not to mention all my director friends who will let me act). My plan hinged on a few things, getting Jesse Dozens(the guy who played him) to get me into some auditions(he's been on True Blood before), and to work with my friend to get money for childSTAR(the friend who worked on the Avengers movie and for CBS, he was also the main villain in my movie, a part I wrote for myself and decided he would do better).
So this thanksgiving me and him had a meeting for most of the day where we read my screenplay(it's 60-something pages, but only 30 finished pages, when it's done it will be around 100-120 pages). It was funny because if you know me and my work I am very megalomaniacal about it so I won't change things for any reasons other than my own, which includes others reasons if they can convince me, but usually I make such an intricate web of reasons for doing things so particularly, that others reasons only destroy my work. This time though me and him had a bunch of new ideas or ways to reinforce some very serious themes while being funny as hell and trying to be as unpredictable as possible. I know when he read that screenplay he had no idea it went that direction. It's not about making another childstar burnout movie, or making a movie with me as the lead, it is about making a fucking awesome movie that I get to be a part of.
Many times people look for things to hold themselves back. I do it subconsciously. I have ridiculous confidence now, but certain things surprise me, in how little confidence I must feel in the face of overwhelming evidence. Both those guys are my friends and partners and both have done jobs I only dream about, and technically, I can even do those things. Just not here in the Bay Area.
So I was surprised to watch Community the other day, after writing up how much I love it, they brought on Nick Kroll, one of my favorite comedians now a days, and to his right was one of the lead actors in my movie, the Dead Next Door. I directed that guys first death scene. I drove to LA to film in Venice Beach with him. It's weird to see the people you came up with making it.
So yeah I got to move.
I need to have more sex. I haven't been a fraction of the naughty I needed to be in my life. Don't get me wrong I am horny as shit. Of course I need to meet women I am attracted to in order to do that(who are not involved. I haven't had anything close to romantic this year or last). It's definitely time to move unless I never want to be with anyone ever again.
I guess my downstairs neighbor digs me, but I have no idea if she is single of not. I saw her the other day and she dyed her hair so I had no idea who it was I just know I wanted it. Then she saw me checking her out and gave me a naughty grin and I realized it was my formerly blond downstairs neighbor. I've only seen that girl for about a total of 5 minutes tops in the year she's lived here, but those 5 minutes have had some really hardcore flirting, with a minimum of actual words.
The first time I met her was because her funny little cute dog ran up to me and started weaving between my arms and legs in mad happiness. I started playing with the little dog because it was so funny, and that made me start to laugh a bunch. I looked up and the dog's master was my downstairs neighbor. 5 foot 9, mid twenties, slim, great ass(hey I always see her walking the dog, she's earned it). Anyway she caught me playing with her dog. I said a few things and we looked at each other with that look like there was something. So the next time I saw her I had just gotten home and saw her parking her car. I cursed the fact I got home about 1 minute too early, and then was going to let it go and resign my self to the fact I won't be able to talk to her, when a thought occurred to me, a sneaky thought. I went downstairs to get my mail. I looked at every piece of mail, inspecting it like I was a responsible adult who pays attention to those envelopes with the red final notice painted across the top, gained not a bit of insight, and out of my peripheral vision I saw the blond girl go to her door, pause for a second, look at me, and then decide to go check her mail. We flirted and got a good glimpse of each other. From there I knew it was on between me and her. Unfortunately I've only seen her about twice since then. But each time we gave each other the most knowing looks. When I am testing a girl(now that they don't scare me anymore) I sometimes give them the look that says, "I would fuck the living hell out of you, but I won't because I don't give a shit at all…so you're going to have to make me give a shit." But this girl I don't even give that look to, I straight up look at her like, "We both know what we're going to do."
I don't know how to explain what kind of blonds I like. It's easier for me to explain what kind I don't like. But I guess I've been nostalgic lately and been sort of on a blond kick ever since this neighbor has been giving me that look.
I was talking to my best friend in junior high and when he mentioned how he used to carpool with one of my crushes, 20 something years melted away and I mumbled under my breath, fuckin jerk, take my girl away, and all my jealousy came back. He has two kids and a wife, and I'm like "fuck you dude, you know how bad I wanted her". But he agreed that decades later my tastes were impeccable. In retrospect maybe I didn't like very many blonds. Maybe I just liked a very few and that got ruined and I never looked back.
I went out on Thanksgiving week to hang out with that friend and figured I hadn't hung out or met women in many months so I should and at least get an idea of if I had made any progress in my life or just was the same loser as always. Plus, lets face it I came perilously close to crushing again lately and needed to not think about certain women and relationships that will never happen. I need to find a girl who likes me enough, plain and simple. Just enough. Luckily, I did get attention, but that's where the rule comes in. Attention is nice and flirting is fun, but after all the pain I've been through with women I'm not exactly all that trustful of them. So I basically disregarded any attention unless a girl really dug me. At least I had the faith that if a girl really liked me I'd know it and it would be different than the other girls.
So I went out and eventually I did run into a girl who did like me "enough." She was so much my type(dark haired light skin, uncomfortably young). I could see immediately that her mind was on me, and if I were ten years younger I would have been completely in love. I think she was about 19-20, which is actually too young(I know a lot of 20 year old girls because of my sister and very rarely am I attracted to any of them). But the difference between her reaction to me as compared to all the other girls was so great that it makes going out with those other less passionate girls seem stupid and a waste of time. This girl, she liked me enough. She saw whatever she saw in me and thought I was worth it. And she was what I would have wanted(again, if I were under 30, I'd just sexually destroy her now). It was nice to have some sort of lust thrown at me that was genuine and intense.
I went to a racetrack for a friend's birthday. A couple of things I found out, but kind of already knew:
1. Women are gay for horses.
2. Women who are gay for horses wear fuck me boots and tights for pants
3. They show Volleyball in HD(has nothing to do with the first two, except for hot asses in tights)
I started a new sketchbook, so I would draw away from my drawing board. I'll post some stuff from that soon. I'm trying to post more in order to force myself to work harder. And today I start drawing one page of each comic a day. I will be trying this, I doubt I can draw and ink a whole page of August that fast, but it's worth a try. I warn you I've tried to be this dedicated before and failed, but then again I am relentless and I will prevail eventually. That's just my way.
P.S.: I have a good idea. How about a Disney movie called Doglantis. It's about an underwater city of dogs. Or Hotlantis. It's like the thong song underwater. They recently amended that fact about men thinking about sex every seven seconds and said they only think about it 18 times a day. Fuck that shit, I thought about it about thirty times while writing this post. Not to mention the couple hundred times I thought about it earlier today. I get hard about that many times in a day, not to mention all the dirty thoughts I actually controlled enough to "keep it soft"(that would be a good anti-sex slogan, like something you'd see on a billboard, like an Uncle Sam type, but probably a grandma, shaking her finger at us telling us to "keep it soft". Or it could also be a slogan for prune juice.) Someday, just because I started this PS and have no way of backing out, I will unzip my pants and present the goods to a girl while saying "Welcome to Dicklantis". Fuck I thought about sex about 18 times while writing this post script.
P.P.S: It's worth mentioning I found a porno with Jenna Haze AND Stoya. I'm into it enough that I haven't even watched it yet. I'm saving it. Like a Christmas present to my cock. I mean that pair pretty much covers a lot of bases for me…no, I said I'd save it…stop thinking about it.
P.P.P.S: I stole the tiltle of this post from the title of a Phillip K. Dick book I've owned for 15 years and still haven't read. I always loved that name. Of the book. Not Phillip K. Dick's name. Imagine how much you think of sex if Dick is your last name.